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From my experience I'd say the kids do get over it very quickly. I have a friend who lost her 8 month old daughter and later lost her 12 yr old son, and I buried my daughter when she was 2 /12. The few kids who did attend Sheena's funeral (my girl) started playing when the service was barely over. which was good for my son who was only 5. They seemed to understand the finality of it and accept it wthout much question. The 12 yr old boy's funeral had tons of kids there - his whole baseball team in uniform and most of his classmates. Kids are so resilient.
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