[Beestie]

There are a given number of rude, self-appointed know-it-alls who feel it is their role in the world to pass judgement on the rest of us. They medicate their own self-loathing by trying to make everyone else just as miserable as they are. The best counterAttack is to refuse to feel badly about yourself and turn their comment into a compliment then, cut them with their own blade. Unfortunately, smacking the piss out of these walking inferiority complexes is not socially acceptable so our response is limited to words, body language and expressions. But you can do a lot with those three.

First, never dignify the comment by "defending yourself." Smile, look the person up and down to let them know that their physical inadequacies are on display for the world to see, then respond. But never, ever, show weakness - instead, you must strike back quickly and effortlessly to deflect the pain and self-doubt they desperately need you to bear right back at them. I think you can figure out which body language and facial expressions work best with these sample comments.

"Well, thank you for noticing."
"Thank you for pointing that out."
"I'm very comfortable with the way I look.... Not everyone is, you know"
"Maybe they should average us together to get one normal person"
"Who needs to carry a lot of extra blubber around wherever they go?"
"Yep, harpoons are the last thing *I* worry about"
"Some people are thin, some people are ugly.. its always something"
"Guys tell me they love my body.. do you get that a lot too?"
"Guys tell me they love my body.. when's the last time you heard that?"
"Overweight people ask me about that all the time."

I bet you could come up with some good ones yourself.

Its kind of amazing how a perfect stranger is so desperate to spread their inferiority around that they would blurt out a hurtful comment just so they can watch you bleed inside. Don't give them the satisfaction - with perfect confidence, strike back. Hard if necessary.