[OnyxCougar]

I fought for YEARS with doctors and teachers/special ed admins about my son. My sister is a NeuroPsychologist (when my son was little she hadn't gotten her degree yet). She told me immediately that he was displaying Autistic symptoms. He was 3. Three Pediatricians REFUSED to test him before age 5, and blamed me for his behavior.

This is an example of behavior at 3:
It is 11:45am.

Son: Mom. Mom. Mom. Momomomom. MoooOoooom!
Me: What?
Son: (slurring, muffled speech due to multiple ear infections) Lunch?
Me: Yes, I'll make you lunch at twelve o'clock, after Blues Clues.
Son: Bnoo's Cnoos? (breaking into full voice singing) WE DAH FIGAH OUT BNOO'S CNOOS CUZ BE NARY SMAHT!!!
Me: Yes, we are. Go watch Blue.
Son: (runs [on his tip toes] away) HE DA MAIL, IT NEBA FAIL...
Me: (looks at my watch. 11:47.)
Son: (runs back up to me) Mom. Mom. MooooooooM Mommy. Mom. Mommmma. Mom!! MOMOMOMOMOMOMOOM!
Me: What?
Son: I some lunch.
Me: Yes, after Blue's Clues. At twelve.
Son: Twelb?
Me: Yes, on the clock, one two dotdot oh oh.
Son: oh oh?
Me: Yes, after Blue's Clues. oh oh.
Son: Benut Bunner?
Me: Yes, I'll make Peanut Butter and Jelly.
Son: oh oh?
Me: Yes, when Blue's Clues is over. A few minutes.
Son: Kay. WE DAH FIGAH OUT BNOO'S CNOOS CUZ BE NARY SMAHT!!!
Me: *sigh*

And the way he told me he wanted to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation was to sing the intro theme song.

We moved back to the states and got him into the Pre-K program, with the label of "Emotional Disturbance". Still no doc would tell us what we already knew: Autism. Even his teachers were telling me: this kid is Autistic. Echolalia, aversion to change, extreme difficulty transitioning to new tasks, tactile obsession (I made a nylon shirt for myself while I was pregnant, and it was his shirt. He did NOTHING without his shirt. Full on meltdown without the shirt. He would do this thing...put the shirt between his thumb and index finger and rub it...to comfort himself. Til he was 6.

Brushing teeth was asking for fingers to be bit off. I'm not kidding. He could not *tolerate* the feel of the toothbrush rubbing against his teeth.

By 10, after 6 years of occupational therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy and weekly behavior therapy, he was still in special ed, but his teachers were saying that he was too smart to be in special ed, but when trying to transition into regular classes, his behavior was such that it was completly disrupting all the other students.

At 13, we finally got a doctor to diagnose him as High Functioning Austism *and* Asperger's. There was a pilot program starting in our county led by NC-Chapel Hill called TEACCH, and they were starting a program for kids like mine: HFA/Aspies. Full regular classroom integration but each student has a "shadow" in the class with them, making sure they stay on task, don't run out of the room (which mine was known for), writing down homework, etc. Then one of the class periods was HFA class, where they help with the homework, and teach social skills, emotion identification, etc. We waited a year on the waiting list, and he got in the program in the middle of 8th grade. Only one school (elem, middle, high) in the county has an HFA class, so he gets to ride a special (not short) bus, picks up at the driveway, and gets met at the bus by his shadow.

Now at 16 (he just turned last week, I'm surprised I've stayed as sane as I have this long), He's a Freshman, and what used to be Cs, Ds, and Fs (not because he didn't know the material, but because he couldn't focus on the tests or write down his thoughts) he's getting A's and B's consistently.

He's still obviously "off" in social situations (he doesn't know what is appropraite to say and around whom you shouldn't say it) and he's not shy at all. He still does the "martial arts dance" at the end of the driveway waiting for the bus, and sings all the time. Even under threat of "I will send you to your room if you don't stop humming" (he HATES being by himself) he will still do it (because he doesn't realize he's doing it most of the time).

He's trying to find out what his humor is. Unfortunately, he's chosen to emulate mine, but doesn't really understand puns and non-literal ideas, so it's not going so well.

He's 6'2", and pushing 170, and shows no signs of stopping soon. I just bought him a pair of size 13 shoes. He's eating me out of house and hearth.

And although I'm terribly worried about whether he's ever going to be able to live on his own, or how he's going to function at a job (which he's expressed interest in getting), and about how much he's going to get hurt becasue he's SO gullible and a smart (mean) girl will be able to totally roll him...

But I can't imagine him any other way.

All this whole long thing was basically to say: I know what having a special needs kid is like...and at times it feels like you're going to tear both you and your kid's hair out. You'll cry and laugh and try new things and stay up on the research and fight and kick every step of the way. Sometimes you'll win, and sometimes you give up, for a little while (that's usually the crying part). Then you take a deep breath and start over.

I'm here if you need me, I have a great ear and a huge shoulder.

Hang in there, sweetie!