[Sundae]

Amen sister.
The bigger I got the more invisible I became.
I was the elephant in the living room.

I think that's why I got hooked on the Cellar.
Because if I was ignored, or citicised or just plain smacked down it was because of my mind, my opinion, my mistakes (I've had a few) not because of how I looked.

I could probably get a man now by standing on a street corner. On this estate, on a main road it might take more than 15 minutes just because of the speed of the traffic.
But will he look at me as if I'm an alien when I complain about greengrocers' apostrophes?

Will he enojy my little games like Guess the Advert or Who Can Get the Closest to the Cost of the Shopping (me, always me - rubbish with money and sums but just too many years of counting every penny - if I won £1m tomorrow I'd still be be able to guess within a fiver how much I'd spent in the supermarket). Or see the significance in the number 143?

Treating me like a Queen would be wonderful. Although I'd prefer to be treated like a courtesan.
And I would do what I could to treat him like a King in return. Except the bit about occasional beheadings.

But if he don't get my quirks it's going to get old very soon.
Because I want to get his quirks too; to me that lasts longer than bouncy boobies and not being afraid to swallow.

Still, I can hardly claim to be a role model in this aspect.
I'm the resident crone now we've lost Bri.