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Originally Posted by BigV
Yes, that season again. Maybe I just don't get out and mingle with the other parents like you do, but I never really got to see the reactions of the other parents, or I just didn't notice them. Although, upon reflection, I can see (now) a lot of what you describe in Tink's actions when it comes to parent-teacher conferences/interactions/meetings. Some people just don't take adverse news well.
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Yeah, it's the mingling that does it. I really hate this phrase, but I'm "active in the community." Messageboards, a couple groups that meet in person, and aside from the carpooling I see all the other parents at our particular therapy clinic every day before and after. And because autism often prevents parents from leaving the house with their kids at all, it's very isolating, and so we all cling to each other and pretty much talk about nothing but autism crap all the time. Which is good, but not good, too.
I actually came to the decision awhile back that I simply won't attend ARDs anymore. It is deeply unhealthy for me. Mr. Clod has no problem with confrontation, and no problem being the passive-aggressive negotiator. I can't do that. I fumble when put on the spot, I get emotional, and then I spend the next 6-9 months fuming about all the things I should have said to those people. The kicker was the ARD for Minifobette that was, unfortunately, scheduled for the exact day last year that my kids were doing their cleanout for their colonoscopies the next day. So I was already frazzled that morning, having to deny my kids anything but clear liquids for a day, and then the advocate that we'd hired to fight this particular battle for us screwed up and had to only be present over the phone, which is like not being there at all. They had brought in an upper-level biatch to stonewall me, who is known for deliberately saying infuriating things like, "
As a parent, I completely understand how you feel," because she knows damn well that if she can get you to scream at her (as I know for a fact that three friends of mine have done) that her kids aren't disabled and she doesn't know a damn thing, that she's gained the upper ground in the negotiations. Anyway, first I sobbed, and then I started inappropriately sharing the difficulties my daughter was having at the time and why no one in that room could even understand, and ultimately I completely checked out and gave everyone a dead-eyed stare for the rest of the proceedings. Her teacher hugged me afterwards and apologized so many times, because of course she was powerless too and had to just sit through it like the rest of the people who actually want to help these kids. And I went home and told Mr. Clod that he's doing them from now on, period. I will not go. And he's really good at being a quiet, unperturbable bastard, so it works out for everyone.
