Quote:
Originally posted by Beestie
This guy has basically put an offer on the table to you both: I'll have sex and give you a warm and fuzzy but no relationship. Since both of you accepted the deal (at different points in time), it will be hard to go back now and change the terms (e.g., drop the other girl and give me a relationship). Since your friend is still ok with the original deal, the guy has no incentive to take your deal unless he really does have feelings for you. In a way, its a good thing because the only way he will accept an "ultimatum" is if he really cares for you. Sometimes, a woman is not sure, when a guy stays with her, if its the sex or the relationship that is keeping him there. You will be spared that uncertainty (since he already has a "free sex" offer on the table) so in a way, its a very clean cut situation.
But, you must give it a try - the only thing you have to lose is not knowing. The hurt of love lost will fade. The agony of not "going for it" and wondering if it would have worked out had you gone for it will never fade.
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The bit where I read and understand your post but still give a categorically unrelated emotional response:
But he does kind of know how I feel! I've told him I like him, I've slept with him, I've told him I find it hard now she's back. Surely that adds up - he's not stupid. I think I'm waiting for him to say 'I've decided I don't want her, I want you, let me whisk you away' which of course he wont while we're both still sat on the table, legs open and hungry (can't be bothered to correct implausible metaphor). So have decided to leave the table. Not going to have any relationship above friends while he's sleeping with her. If he's bothered, it'll show right? He'll say something? If not, I do have enough self respect to forget about it. (Not, you would think, something that was immediately apparent in previous post).
Haagen Dazs and rent money? Is syphillis involved?