[OnyxCougar]

Im on my itouch so i cant quote n stuff like i want to.

I have tried therapy. I have tried medication. I'm not i sulted at the suggestion of therapy or professional help, but i'm telling y'all it doesnt work. I've been fucking with therapists heads since i was 9 years old. Now after all these psycjology classes, i know what they will twll me. I know the strategies. I know what to say to get exactly the medication i want. I get that professional help works for most people, but im not most people.

And you're right, clod, i know i need to get over this and bruce is right as well, i need to figure it out on my own. I also am sorry for going off on you, pico, but really, telling me its a simple matter of choice was exactly the wrong thing to say to me, like that, at the time, whether right wrong or indifferent. I appreciate the effort, though (weak smile).

I dont think there is a right answer here. This isnt something that anton should have to deal with in the first damn place. I've gottem some sleep finally and i start my third to last semester of college for my aa tomorrow. I have three classes that are going to need quite a bit of my attention so o'll have no time to go moaning about stuff that happened 20 years ago. Art history in particular is going to kick my ass, i think.

Thanks to everyone for the input, even if I am a bitch about it. Thanks for putting up with me. Sorry for the continued drama.