|
Onyx, I'll admit up front that I didn't read the links, because if it's worse than cuts with lemon juice and cutting off a leg to bleed to death, then I don't want to read it.
I know you're in a painful place, so please don't think I'm judging you for your reaction to this. But it seems pretty cut and dried from here: what you need to do (that is, turn off the nonstop images of suffering in your mind) is something you can't seem to do. No one is saying it's wrong or unreasonable for you to be unable to do that right now, but the fact remains that it's what would help you feel better, and what you want to have happen. You've got to find a way to do it--but that doesn't mean you have to magically flip that switch on your own.
You need to seek professional help. Anyone who had gone through what you've gone through would. You are insulted at the suggestion that you should choose to get over it--yet that is exactly what you are attempting to do, when you avoid seeking professional help. If therapy alone hasn't helped in the past, perhaps it's time for a combination of therapy and medication, at least until you are past this fresh grief. Like you say, it's not drama, it's PTSD. And people with PTSD need professional help.
|