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Anything but the Cicadas
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Incessant insect buzzing is a fate almost as bad as jail, a Cincinnati man argued to a judge late last month.

Joe Armstrong had been convicted of selling $20 worth of cocaine and was facing sentencing before Hamilton County Common Pleas Court Judge Steve Martin on June 30, reports the Cincinnati Post.

Before Martin decided whether to give Armstrong the maximum year in prison, he asked him if there was anything he wanted to say.

Armstrong asked for probation instead of jail time — because this spring's invasion of Brood X cicadas had been enough punishment.

"What did the cicadas have to do with it?" asked Martin.

"They caused my wife, she was terrified, so she rode me as long as they was here," Armstrong replied. "I suffered so much mental anguish, it's just by the grace of God that I still have my sanity at this point in time."

"I don't think probation will work here," Martin answered, noting that Armstrong had been placed on probation 10 times since 1985, had not completed any of the terms of probation and was in fact wanted in Alabama for a 1996 violation.


Armstrong persisted.

"If I was to do six months, I would likely come home to nothing," he said. "No wife. No phone. Nothing."

Martin gave him six months in the Hamilton County Justice Center anyway — but made him eligible to cut that time to two months with work details.

As for the cicadas, there are none in the Justice Center, said Hamilton County Sheriff's spokesman Steve Barnett.