Thanks guys.
Had my first appt with my therapist (not my psychiatrist) and I like her. She focuses on outcomes and goals rather than laying (lying? I can never get that one right) on the couch having your head patted and your hand held. I think this is really going to be helpful.
It was a rough weekend (sick most of it, my tonsils had turned to pieces of quartz it seemed) but I feel really good now. Self-talking is helping. Remembering to breathe, stopping negative thoughts by talking through them (in my head...hahhahaa) and not assuming everyone is thinking I'm a big giant loser...all good things. I mean, they may or may not think I'm a big giant loser but I have no control over that, right?
Therapist also wants to work with me on some career assessments! Imma be like the Grandma Moses of whatever I end up doing.
You've all been so kind.