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I would be glad to be a vagina-bearer. I would carry it on my dick.*
*In this case, the word "dick" was used to maximize comedic value. Other words such as "penis", "cock", and "wang" were evaluated but none were found to have the combination of shock and comic awe of a stronger and more vulgar term. Also, there is a "k" sound in it, which makes it funnier. The "k" sound actually occurs twice in "cock", making it one of the funniest words available to the English language, but its former use here makes it a distraction from the humor of the line.
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