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As an update - I went to the Doctors as per my appointment, but the test results hadn't come through.
Luckily, the GP pulled some wizardy GP magic and got me an appointment the next day (generally I have to book about 10 days in advance.)
Enlarged liver and spleen.
No surprise.
Now referred to a consulatant. Surprise.
NO MORE DRINKING.
No, no, no no no-no-no-no. No more.
No more help of course.
Just no more drinking.
How is Keith Richards still alive and fucking women young enough to be his daughter and my liver is on death row?
This might slay me, people.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
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