I'm new here, and I admit I didn't read through this whole thread, so forgive me if it turns out I'm echoing something that's already been said.
I have two kids. My son is 19 now and my daughter will be 17 next month. I have always been a gentle, loving, respectful parent to them. It has always been my philosophy to trust my kids unless I have some reason to believe that they are untrustworthy. I have never put restrictions on their internet use, and have not looked over their shoulders at what they're doing, checked their history palettes, or whatever. I do occasionally view my daughter's blog, but not for the purpose of checking up on her. Rather I do it to see what she had written in order to give me deeper insight into what's going on in her life and her thoughts.
If you were to ask them, they would tell you that they cannot recall a single time in their entire lives that I have ever yelled at them in anger. Both of them have turned out to be wonderful people, with big hearts and good heads on thier shoulders. They tell me often how much they appreciate the fact that I trust them, and communicate with them without talking down at them or taking an "I'm the adult, you're the child - you'll do what I say" approach.
My ex-wife has always been the opposite. As a result of our contrasting parenting approach, my kids know that they can talk to me about anything at all, and I won't fly off the handle at them. They tell me many things that they would never dream of telling their mother, and they often tell me that when and if they ever have kids, they will pattern their parenting philosophy after mine.
I consider that a success. See, if not a total failure
