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Two words:
Food Processor.
Another two words (and then some):
Food Chopper. (you know, the damn thing as seen on tv? Spring loaded plunger on a dome that you put over the vegetable which offends you and you mash up and down on it ... and what about that amazing thing from the 70s Ronco heyday, that sliced, diced and made julliene fries? Oh, and don't go into the kitchen without a mandolin.)
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