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Originally Posted by footfootfoot
Transition stress can be minimized by the adults getting the kids’ shit in one sock before the transition, having a checklist and a routine makes the transitions more predictable.
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It also helps if you can reduce the amount of shit that actually has to go in the sock. My back-and-forth schedule with my parents was not only every couple of days, it was completely different every week. Every so often my dad would give my mom a list of dates when he was going out of town for work (their agreement was, whenever he was in town, we were with him, which worked out to about 50/50 anyway) and she'd print up two copies of a nicely-formatted calendar, to be stuck on the fridge at each house. We always knew who was picking us up from school, and when we grew older we always knew which bus to take home. Transitions were never on weekends, so there was never any face-to-face confrontation, or impatient car sitting on the street.
There was no "return the clothes that I bought to my house," whatever we were wearing just went with us. Same with books and other personal possessions. We either had two of things, or it was all ours and the parents didn't take ownership of the transfer. In the decade of living like this, only maybe three times did we happen to end up with no nice clothes at one house, or no athletic shoes at the other. Then we'd just pack a small bag to even things out.
This is probably not going to work with a control freak involved, though. My stepkids' mom once accused us of deliberately stealing a pair of shorts, so I understand what it's like to try to work with lunacy.