That used to crack us up at the shop. Some fat bastard would come in and start buying up fancy wheel sets and titanium doodads (shaving ounces) which we'd happily sell him, but maybe he should ride a heavier bike until he gets in shape and down to racing weight? Of course, now I'm the fat bastard... I felt stronger last weekend though. I'll be fast or blow up my heart trying.
Ask LeMond if he was the last clean winner of the Tour after you get some wine in him.