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Originally Posted by Clodfobble
Goddamn fig trees in the backyard are dropping 4-5 figs an hour. Goddamn dog keeps eating them. Goddamn dog's stomach keeps puking them back up. Goddamn dog keeps eating its own vomit.
I try to go out there and pick up the new figs every time the goddamn dog goes out to pee. But the goddamn dog doesn't like this new pattern and is now peeing and pooping in the house all the time instead.
Goddamn fig trees.
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Update: we have now purchased 50 feet of plastic garden netting and 15 stomp-down fence posts, and have completely walled off the portion of the yard beneath the fig trees. The dogs and the fig trees can all go fuck themselves.