[Sundae]

Shawnee I really think you have to start looking for other work. It really sounds as if the job is taking far too much of a toll on you - they pay you to work there, not to screw your head up & trash your life.

I know it's really hard when you are already spiralling down, to think of a way of getting out of it. I know application forms and interviews are tough at any time let alone when you are at your lowest, but please think about it, I hate to hear you so lost.

Can you have a word with your boss and take some time off? I know it's a short term solution but you're not going to be able to think straight while you are under daily pressure. Can you get signed off for a couple of weeks by a GP (don't know how that works over there - many companies in the UK pay sick leave, at least to start with). If you could get signed off until payday, then you can afford to get your meds checked?

I dunno, I'm probably not coming up with anything you haven't thought of yourself. Sorry - I wish I had a great solution but I'm barely balancing as it is.

Don't think people don't care though, keep posting your feelings if it helps to let it out. Good luck.