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BigV · 05-27-2005, 11:48 AM

Yeah, don't start with "I'll change my sched..." It's a completely transparent lie. You know when she's home--the clanking shoes tell you.

Look, in your situation, *I* would come upstairs when it was happening, presuming it was a reasonable hour, like in the middle of the day, when visitors are ok, and knock. When she answered the door, I would begin a conversation.

Me: "Hello, I'm stacey. I live in the apartment directly beneath you. Could I talk to you for a minute, please?

Her: "Um, ok, is something wrong?"

M: "Actually, there is. My work schedule means that I sleep days, and sometimes it's really loud. I think it's that the hard shoes and hard floors send the sound straight through my ceiling. The noise keeps me from getting any rest, and it's a big problem for me. I know you have to walk around of course. But maybe there are some ways to mute the sound. One idea I had was some soft soled slippers. Here, I brought some as a gift to you. I don't want any problems between us, since we live so close together, so I'm coming to you with respect and courtesy. Do you see what I'm saying?

**steps out of story**

One nice thing about face to face instead of a note is that you can adjust on the fly to what you're reading from her. Sweet, harsh, etc. I don't know her response at this point, but if it's cooperative, then work it. Seek common ground. That's the goal of that last question. Try to get her to see (hear) it from your point of view. You're not being unreasonable (yet), and at this point neither is she. That's good. Y'all have room to work with each other.

Most folks want to please others. You know this, like in your work. Give this lady the benefit of the doubt. If the slippers don't work out, then maybe an area rug. Or barefoot. Or tennis shoes.

Also, if you're set on a note first instead of a conversation, one useful tool for writing such a note I have used in the past to good effect is to write it as though it were a conversation, like this post demonstrates. Hell, print this thread and give it to her. Show her that it's a problem and that you're agonizing over it and you want to find a solution.

05-27-2005, 11:48 AM	#33
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Yeah, don't start with "I'll change my sched..." It's a completely transparent lie. You know when she's home--the clanking shoes tell you. Look, in your situation, I would come upstairs when it was happening, presuming it was a reasonable hour, like in the middle of the day, when visitors are ok, and knock. When she answered the door, I would begin a conversation. Me: "Hello, I'm stacey. I live in the apartment directly beneath you. Could I talk to you for a minute, please? Her: "Um, ok, is something wrong?" M: "Actually, there is. My work schedule means that I sleep days, and sometimes it's really loud. I think it's that the hard shoes and hard floors send the sound straight through my ceiling. The noise keeps me from getting any rest, and it's a big problem for me. I know you have to walk around of course. But maybe there are some ways to mute the sound. One idea I had was some soft soled slippers. Here, I brought some as a gift to you. I don't want any problems between us, since we live so close together, so I'm coming to you with respect and courtesy. Do you see what I'm saying? steps out of story One nice thing about face to face instead of a note is that you can adjust on the fly to what you're reading from her. Sweet, harsh, etc. I don't know her response at this point, but if it's cooperative, then work it. Seek common ground. That's the goal of that last question. Try to get her to see (hear) it from your point of view. You're not being unreasonable (yet), and at this point neither is she. That's good. Y'all have room to work with each other. Most folks want to please others. You know this, like in your work. Give this lady the benefit of the doubt. If the slippers don't work out, then maybe an area rug. Or barefoot. Or tennis shoes. Also, if you're set on a note first instead of a conversation, one useful tool for writing such a note I have used in the past to good effect is to write it as though it were a conversation, like this post demonstrates. Hell, print this thread and give it to her. Show her that it's a problem and that you're agonizing over it and you want to find a solution. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.