|
So, today I am working on my 4th step (made a searching and fearless moral inventory) and my 5th (admitted the exact nature of my wrongs).
They must be kidding! I can just see the founders of AA saying, "Look at that! The idiots are actually doing it! (snigger). I wonder what else we could fool them into doing?"
I am exhausted. I never realized so many emotions would surface in the process of doing this - so much anger and guilt. And this is with what I admit to being a shallow and terrified immoral inventory.
Looking back on my life, I am so filled with regret. Why on earth did I do all those stupid things? Why did I ever pick up my very first drink when I knew first hand what alcohol did to my father?
I have been putting off these two steps for a year, and now I know why. If Wolf's outfit wasn't so far away, I think I'd go check in at her place.
The one good thing about this is that I have a terrific sponsor who is very simpatico. The other good thing is that I am going to be finished with it soon.
For any of you 12-steppers out there who have done a 4th and a 5th, my hat is off to you.
Day at time - yep, yep. I now have a year and two months!
|