[OnyxCougar]

What am I supposed to let go of, exactly?
That he's dead? I've gone through that process already. Again, I was fine Tuesday morning. I don't think about him every day, I don't google the event or the people any more, I don't keep his picture in my wallet or his obituary at my desk. I moved on.
That he was tortured? I came to terms with the story I was told back in 95. This is new information that I'm really struggling to deal with.
That it was my ex-husband that did that sick shit? I've even gotten over all of that, and I thank my God that I wasn't involved with that and that I wasn't hurt more badly than I endured while I was with him. I'm ok with all of that.

My problem now is that I have these images in my head of the shit Travis did to him and I can't get them out of my head. I lay down to sleep and they play over and over, and get embellished in my vivid fucking imagination that I can't turn off.

What I'm extracting from your posts is that you're saying that if this new information bothers me, I haven't "let go" of his death. So then, that means if I've moved on with my life you're saying it shouldn't bother me in the slightest? Really? Because the other three people in my Real Life (as opposed to virtual life here) who've read that account say it's the single most disturbing thing they've ever read, and the fact that both of the people involved were people I knew and loved makes it that much worse.

So I don't think I'm too off base to be more than a little freaked out right about now, even having moved on and "let go".

Or you know, maybe we have different definitions of "let go".

"Let go" indeed.