Wow. The cellar is starting to play out like a really bad soap-opera.
Anyhow. My take on the whole thing is that Arsen got married too young. Getting married at that age... you still hold onto a lot of youthful fantasies. It's hard to
fully commit to another person when you're still learning who you are. I'm not saying that the relationship won't last... I'm just saying it will be harder.
And I don't think stacey is crazy, or a moron. She's just really emotional. It's a rough situation to be in... younger man... foreign born... knows he's bored... finds emails about a distant love... it's not a picture of the average relationship.
Of course I don't think she's handled this situation very well at all. I know why she came here... she wanted a range of neutral perspectives to help her make a decision. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and with most problems in life I'd agree. But considering the breadth of this one, the best thing would have been to not tell
anyone, even your closest friends. Spend a few days thinking about how
you feel about it, and if you still have problems then go talk to a shrink.
So what do you do now that the mess is already public? It's not going to get better. Arsen, don't try to justify your actions. Stacey, don't defend him, or yourself. Consider this whole discussion a sunk cost and just walk away. It was an entertaining display for all the cellar dwellars, but useful advice for your problem? Naw. Talk to the doc. Please.