[orthodoc]

Good thoughts, good advice, and I appreciate them. I did see the potential for this, although I hoped there had been enough drastic change to create a different dynamic in future. That said, I sometimes allow myself to vent (believe me, I am not always tightly-controlled) at my husband when I'm really projecting frustration from dealing with a middle-school dynamic among a dysfunctional staff at work, or I'm exhausted because I have neuropathy that doesn't let me sleep, etc. Not fair to him or to you here, who only hear my side of things.

I do think that stepping back and keeping my own priorities, values, and boundaries in place is going to be my best strategy, as you say, V. In the morning light, watching the winter sunshine create snow sparkles in the back garden and seeing the birds arrive, squabble, and fill themselves at the feeders, I feel so much at home in this place - it's my refuge. I feel I can navigate this situation. Solving things late at night with vodka is not a good strategy. I'll stay away from that.

I really appreciate your patience. Friends, you guys are.