[infinite monkey]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Clod
Dani (I hope she doesn't mind me saying this) and I have been stuck in the SD's situation. Not all of it of course, but that fact that rent + transport + bills + food = penury.

I've been lucky enough to have benefits from the Govt (well, I did work full time from 16, sometimes in three jobs), family and friends.
But there have been times I've had to choose whether to wash clothes, take a hot shower or cook a meal. And I don't have a TV or radio these days - I charge my portable DVD player up in the library.

I learned this in my 40s because I was either earning until then, or in later years living with Mum & Dad - and they put up with me because I looked after Grandad/ cooked meals/ washed windows etc.

I'm ALWAYS going to be rubbish with money.
But I don't think it's a really hard lesson for any kid to learn that it's not all sunshine and lollipops out there financially. It might be good for her to know there will be times she can't buy that hot new CD, or that cool pair of jeans, or any lipstick at all. She'll understand that sometimes if you're gaming all night you'll wake up and the electricity is cut off.

Personally I'd advise you to shell out as little as possible and prepare for her to come back. Then when she does, set very specific ground rules, more chores, find a better job and all that. And set a deadline. Then help with a slightly better place.

But that's me applying my mental health issues/ life experiences to someone I don't even know.

This.