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Thank you for your advice. I feel like I've been doing all those things for years. I try to do better and wait for better and cruise along then it all just keeps coming baack to remind me I'm not good enough, not really, for anyone or anything and all this waiting for a tomorrow that might be better to come is just beating a dead horse.
It's not going to get better and I won't be good enough but dont' worry I will not do anything stupid. I'm just so tired and I want to cry into the virtual arms of a bunch of people who probably don't think much of me either or wouldn't if they knew me (so I've been told.)
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