[Trilby]

For all the animosity I harbor for 'having this disease' and 'having to treat it' via what is, essentially, witch-doctor/voo-doo medicine (how many other progressive, terminal diseases are treated with talk therapy and spiritual transformation?) I am always dying to get back to the way I felt before I relapsed. Feeling good in the morning, being in control of myself, NOT having the police come over, etc., is how I want to live/be. So why would I jeopardize that and all the good feelings I get for a drink that will only lead me down a dark and dangerous, potentially fatal, road??

That is the Big Question for alcoholics. Why? It makes no sense! It's insane! It's also part of the disease. And the best the medical community can say is, "Did you go to meetings?" that's their remedy.

Some day - I swear - there will be a real, lasting, medical cure based on science. They will find out what makes an alcoholic an alcoholic and de-activate whatever it is that does it. People will look upon the days when addicts were treated with 'meetings' and 'sponsors' the way we look upon the days when schizophrenics were chained up and beaten and deemed possessed by the devil.