[PointsOfLight]

I had a panic attack in one of my college classes today.

We were all supposed to read part of the declaration of independence and when it was my turn to read my voice started shaking and I started getting really nervous.

You'd think this would be a case of being afraid of public speaking, but there were only 9 or 10 people in the class. And it didn't stop at just nervousness and a shaky voice.

I started getting heart palpitations in my chest and in my neck, my hands started to shake, I started sweating, my face flushed, and my vision started to blur. In the end, I couldn't get a word out. I was completely speechless.

So I was siting there in my chair for about 15 seconds, everybody looking at me. Finally I got the words out "could somebody please read for me". So somebody else read. I sat there mortified and still shaken up.

This comes at the worst time for me. I have no friends in college. I haven't even talked to someone I know in about 2 days. All I do "for fun" is school work. I used to be mildly popular in high school with a semi large group of friends. But they are all gone now, and I'm left in Portland with nobody.

And now I get panic attacks.

Wonderful.