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I know very little, but I know you are not ready for another relationship yet. I also know it will be tough for you and your kids -not only will they model her behavior, but they share any genetic predisposition she has for this behavior. I am horrified to learn how like my insane mother I am. It would have helped if my father had been able to guide me away from the stupidly nutso tendencies rather than hating me for being like her.
It is good that you see so early that this is not "them" but echoes of her. be patient and kind as you guide them away from it and remember that -barking though she may be- without her you wouldn't have them at all.
Sorry it's such a pile of shite sometimes. stay strong
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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