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Sundae: my situation is no 'better' or 'worse' than yours. We all go through different crap. In fact, we are both worried about our own health while worrying about loved ones' health. It freaking sucks, I know.
I know I can't help unless I feel better.
Soooo...I did finally get my retirement money. This doesn't mean I'm retired, of course, just that I can get my affairs in order and start back at Square One. I'm really good at Square One. I do my best work in Square One. But I don't think I'll do much with Square One until I get back on the med and THEN get with my doctor and come up with a taper off plan. I seem to feel better in the mornings and it gets worse as the day goes on. I'll think I feel pretty content one minute and the next I'm bawling my eyes out. A good indicator: I was happy coming into the library then saw some of the townswomen, all glorious in scarves and jewelry and the ever-important cell phone to their ear, who can't even find their way around this LIBRARY which is a freaking work of art in itself and I mumbled "what is it, pretentious snot bitch day at the library?"
Yeah, that's not nice.
I'll have access to more of the money tomorrow, but I want to get my script broken into one month instead of 3, paying ~400 as opposed to ~1100, then go to lower doses which will also lower the cost. I want off this stuff. I can't believe there isn't much more than the thousands of online forum postings in the way of warning of the severe withdrawal. No, this ain't like stopping prozac or paxil or any of the other freaking SSRIs I've tried over the years. This is potential suicide-inducing, with the very extreme mood swings and the physical impairments. I'm a bit angry with the doctors. Maybe it's my mission to get this information out there. I could be like one of those cool people you read about in Reader's Digest: How I Bucked Big Pharm Before it Bucked Anyone Else.
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