[CaliforniaMama]

Part of what can make the dynamic between kids and parents work is having multi-generational relationships. Robert Bly wrote a book called "Sibling Society" that talks about how each generation is starting to look more and more at their peers for advice on how to live life. Elders and youngers are becoming less significant in the greater life picture.

When we maintain relationships with elders and have multiple generations involved in our regular, everyday relationships, we develop "vertical" support rather than just "horizontal."

For instance, in our super-close circle of friends we have people who range from 90's to 20's and then teen cousins, so our kids are learning how to have relationships with people of all ages. I've seen this in my cousin's family as well. They still do things as a family unit even though the kids are all teens. They even come to my little kid's birthday parties.

The teens will have real-life conversations with grown-ups because to them grown-ups are real people to them. I'm seeing this with my own kids. They do not seem to be identifying solely because of their age. They'll interact with anyone who is interesting or who will give them the time of day (and not dismiss them because they are short).