The Cellar - View Single Post

BigV · 08-05-2013, 11:01 AM

this looks unfixable to me.

motherfucker.

the lurking is the core problem, the joining was just the last straw. ip bans can't prohibit lurking. I will miss you ZenGum, and your departure will be a tremendous loss to the cellar as a whole. I hope some accommodation can be made to your satisfaction, but I can't think of anything I can do to make things better.

I don't know many places my kids hang out, save facebook, where I am their "fb friend". what kinds of filters, if any, are placed on the feeds I see, those are up to them. there have been a couple other feelers/casual inquiries, like instagram, etc when it came up in conversation. I don't follow my adult kids very closely online, commenting ... once a month perhaps, viewing a couple times a month? I love my kids dearly, but I like them to have their own lives; FUCK, that's been my prime directive as a parent (and uncle and youth leader/coach/teacher) all my adult life. they'll give me what they think I need to know. and that goes both ways--they're not my fetlife fellow kinksters, right? they're not on my okcupid wishlist. it's a matter of mutual respect, they've learned from my example. I hope I never find myself in this situation, as a parent or as a child.

I accept that this forum is public, just as a coffee shop is public--the analogy has proven apt many, many times. If I knew my kids didn't want me to hang out in the same coffee shop they hung out at... I don't know. I was going to say, "I'd respect that", but then I thought, what if they had the best coffee in town, what if it was most convenient for me, or most economical, etc etc. I could visit when they weren't there, blah blah blah. I guess the analogy does have its limits. my point is that I want my kids' to be happy, to feel respected more than I want my pleasure of being so close to them. there are some things that I used to do that I just can't anymore, kiss them, cuddle them, pet them and coo over them. that used to be very gratifying--when they were babies. it's just not right now, despite my memories of how wonderful that new baby smell was. they let me hang around just as much and just as close as *they* want. if I encroach further, they'll just retreat.

Old Bunyip, it turns out, sadly, that your math about your signature was right after all.

08-05-2013, 11:01 AM	#10
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	this looks unfixable to me. motherfucker. the lurking is the core problem, the joining was just the last straw. ip bans can't prohibit lurking. I will miss you ZenGum, and your departure will be a tremendous loss to the cellar as a whole. I hope some accommodation can be made to your satisfaction, but I can't think of anything I can do to make things better. I don't know many places my kids hang out, save facebook, where I am their "fb friend". what kinds of filters, if any, are placed on the feeds I see, those are up to them. there have been a couple other feelers/casual inquiries, like instagram, etc when it came up in conversation. I don't follow my adult kids very closely online, commenting ... once a month perhaps, viewing a couple times a month? I love my kids dearly, but I like them to have their own lives; FUCK, that's been my prime directive as a parent (and uncle and youth leader/coach/teacher) all my adult life. they'll give me what they think I need to know. and that goes both ways--they're not my fetlife fellow kinksters, right? they're not on my okcupid wishlist. it's a matter of mutual respect, they've learned from my example. I hope I never find myself in this situation, as a parent or as a child. I accept that this forum is public, just as a coffee shop is public--the analogy has proven apt many, many times. If I knew my kids didn't want me to hang out in the same coffee shop they hung out at... I don't know. I was going to say, "I'd respect that", but then I thought, what if they had the best coffee in town, what if it was most convenient for me, or most economical, etc etc. I could visit when they weren't there, blah blah blah. I guess the analogy does have its limits. my point is that I want my kids' to be happy, to feel respected more than I want my pleasure of being so close to them. there are some things that I used to do that I just can't anymore, kiss them, cuddle them, pet them and coo over them. that used to be very gratifying--when they were babies. it's just not right now, despite my memories of how wonderful that new baby smell was. they let me hang around just as much and just as close as they want. if I encroach further, they'll just retreat. Old Bunyip, it turns out, sadly, that your math about your signature was right after all. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.