[Sundae]

My brother bought me tickets to a theme park for my birthday.
We went on Guy Fawkes (5th November)

Here is my report.

We set off on the 07.24 train. Walked to the front of course, as we both know that Marylebone is the terminal, therefore the further up the train you are, the further up the platform. We were trying to get a specific train to Staines, to catch a specific bus, to get the Thorpe Park before it opened at 10.00. We had 37 minutes to get across London. In rush hour.

I did think I’d blown it - when we got on at Aylesbury the train was already pretty full (there is a stop beforehand - Aylesbury Parkway) so I chose two seats in the middle of the carriage. No. Do not do this. You will get stuck behind grannies and faffers. People from other carriages will get to the barriers before you. Said grannies and faffers, who dither finding their tickets. Tcha.

I was also too slow to get travel photos, as by the third stop I was hemmed in and so was Stevo and my camera was in my bag in the luggage rack..

Anyway, we both know our way around the Tube. Marylebone to Waterloo is a simple skip down the Bakerloo Line. We had to let the first train go as it was rammed (we’d allowed for this.) The next one we made sure we were in pole position (the right part of the platform to be in front of the doors) and crushed in regardless.

We hiked up the escalators at Waterloo (which reminded me I have thigh muscles - as they were complaining) and made the Staines train by two minutes. I don’t know about trains in other parts of the world, but trains from London lock their doors electronically 30 seconds prior to departure to avoid accidents. You snooze you lose.

Bus was waiting for the train at Staines station. Very sensible service, timed purely for Thorpe Park. Sounds obvious but this is public transport and you can’t expect that. When I lived in a village the choice was to spend 14 minutes or 4 hours in Aylesbury, neither of which suited my needs.

We got there at 09.55 and joined the queue. Very happy peoples. This was the last day of the season and the Monday after (most) schools had had a weeks holiday for half term. We hoped for blue skies, hardly any childer and short queuing times. We got them.

I’d scrambled over and under and into and out of every website I could find about the park. I had a plan. It was all about where to head first and why and when and how best to avoid 90 minute queues (yes, they do happen in the summer.) I was determined to come away having ridden ALL the big rides, even though some of them terrified me.

Turns out there was no need, apart from satisfying my pedant itch. Place was E.M.P.T.Y. By summer standards at least. We walked onto most rides, longest queuing time 7 minutes. Oh, except Nemesis Inferno - Ste had a hankering for the first row so we waited for 25 minutes. Hey-ho, I indulged him. He was paying (well actually more because he is my brother and I love him and this was the best day out I think I have ever had.)

Looking at the queue in front of us at the entrance to the park - 70? people? - I suggested to Ste that we did The Swarm first after all. It’s new this year and the attraction most people hit first. Ste said, “Go on then - we’ll walk past most of these people anyway.” And he was right. Thorpe Park is a lot smaller than Alton Towers, not having gardens or ruins or a cable car. It’s easy to get around.

Yup - we waited less than five minutes. Were on about the third ride of the day. At the docking station I suddenly felt apprehensive. The first drop looks nothing when walking in, but the ride is partly sunken, if you get what I mean. The initial climb seemed interminable. I am pleased to report that my mind did not snap (my major fear on rides is my sanity) and Ste and I screamed and howled simultaneously. A brother and sister scream team.