[limey]

Let's not squabble over the details when our intentions are all of one accord, and for the best.
I am sure that the gesture of "taking up a collection" in Sundae's memory would be very positively received. We could send a plant with a message of condolence from the Cellar, and that would also be very well received. We could certainly convey to Sundae's mum that Dwellars would be very happy for any "leftover" funds to be used to cover funeral costs, but also give her the option to donate to a charity of her choosing if that is what she prefers.
As to a memorial bench - I think you are thinking of the park in Otley, LJ. Although she loved the park, Otley was not a particularly happy place for Sundae. Also, there can be a lot of red tape around getting permission to put new benches in such places.
Sundae's mum is grappling with red tape in Leeds and won't get home until tomorrow. We'll let you know what's decided about the time and place of the funeral - that would be a good deadline for donations.
I'm happy to collect donations, if everyone else is happy with that. Paypal payments as a "between friends" transaction so that there are no costs. I'd be grateful if you could put "Sundae's memorial" in the description so that if the taxman takes an interest I can show him that it's not a commercial transaction. PM me for my email address - discretion as to your participation is assured.