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OnyxCougar · 05-07-2004, 03:48 PM

And that's fine for you. I'm glad you managed to envision your way to peace.

But that doesn't happen often.

I've tried forgiving. I can't. I can't forgive what he did. He wasn't abused as a child, he abused his nieces. He was in trouble with the law as a juvenile (stole his mother's car, picked up his under 15 yo girlfriend and fled the state), and when his mother couldn't deal with him, she sent him to his aunt and uncle.

There is alot more of my story around here on the Cellar, in different places, but the bottom line is, Lady S pretty much described my husband. Only mine went further than hers.

I remember the first time my fingers were dislocated. Because I didn't catch on to learning how to eat with chopsticks fast enough. He dislocated the left hand fingers first, so I had 5 chances. That's fair, right?

I was not allowed to wear makeup/wear nice clothes. That meant I wanted attention. That meant I wanted guys to look at me. That meant that I wanted to fuck other men. Logical, right?

And God help me if I LOOK at another man. Cuz then I wanna fuck him. And lets face it, no man would want ME. I mean, I'm fat, ugly and am DAMN lucky that I have HIM. I should be grateful to him for putting up with me.

I better go to work (at ALWAYS a crappy job) but not talk to male employees. Also, he will pick me up. This meant arriving 30 minutes before I got off work, glaring at all the males and leering at all the females, trying to talk them into sleeping with them. I got fired from Carl's Jr. once because a female manager felt threatened by him, and since he refused to stop coming to pick me up (forcing me to walk because there's no way I was going to drive MY car anywhere and leave him no transportation, even tho he didn't work), I got fired.

These were the highlights.

And I've tried. I've tried to forgive and move on. I've mostly gotten past when he did to me. But I will never forgive him for what he did to Steven. I can't. To do that would disrepect Steven. Steve wasn't no prize, but he didn't deserve THAT.

05-07-2004, 03:48 PM	#5
OnyxCougar Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Kingdom of Atlantia Posts: 2,979	And that's fine for you. I'm glad you managed to envision your way to peace. But that doesn't happen often. I've tried forgiving. I can't. I can't forgive what he did. He wasn't abused as a child, he abused his nieces. He was in trouble with the law as a juvenile (stole his mother's car, picked up his under 15 yo girlfriend and fled the state), and when his mother couldn't deal with him, she sent him to his aunt and uncle. There is alot more of my story around here on the Cellar, in different places, but the bottom line is, Lady S pretty much described my husband. Only mine went further than hers. I remember the first time my fingers were dislocated. Because I didn't catch on to learning how to eat with chopsticks fast enough. He dislocated the left hand fingers first, so I had 5 chances. That's fair, right? I was not allowed to wear makeup/wear nice clothes. That meant I wanted attention. That meant I wanted guys to look at me. That meant that I wanted to fuck other men. Logical, right? And God help me if I LOOK at another man. Cuz then I wanna fuck him. And lets face it, no man would want ME. I mean, I'm fat, ugly and am DAMN lucky that I have HIM. I should be grateful to him for putting up with me. I better go to work (at ALWAYS a crappy job) but not talk to male employees. Also, he will pick me up. This meant arriving 30 minutes before I got off work, glaring at all the males and leering at all the females, trying to talk them into sleeping with them. I got fired from Carl's Jr. once because a female manager felt threatened by him, and since he refused to stop coming to pick me up (forcing me to walk because there's no way I was going to drive MY car anywhere and leave him no transportation, even tho he didn't work), I got fired. These were the highlights. And I've tried. I've tried to forgive and move on. I've mostly gotten past when he did to me. But I will never forgive him for what he did to Steven. I can't. To do that would disrepect Steven. Steve wasn't no prize, but he didn't deserve THAT.