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Lady S. and Onyx, I'm right there with you (read my earlier post about deciding to kill the man who abused me). I never ever want to see this man again. I don't want to know if he's alive or dead. I don't care what happens to him, but it would be nice if he never abused another woman again, for whatever reason that prevented him from doing so.
That said, I found that I could not go around hating this individual. Hate and anger are corrosive emotions which destroy the soul. He was abused as a child. I, too, consider that no excuse, but it is an explanation for his behavior. His Mother was a single parent who used to lock him in the closet while she went to work. Beatings were a part of his dailey life as a child. Does that mean he gets to inflict the same treatment on me or anybody else? No fucking way! But it helped me to understand and stop hating. I imagined him as an adorable little 4 year old boy. I imagined this little boy being locked in a closet for 8 hours or more, peeing in his pants because he couldn't go to the bathroom. I imagined this little kid with huge blue eyes getting back handed across the face for the most minor infraction. It made me want to cry. He never learned a normal way of loving anyone. All he was ever taught was anger and abuse. While I will never, ever condone his actions, I feel sorry for him. I am happy, happy, happy that he has vanished from my life. Do I wish him dead? No, I simply wish him healed.
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