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That just makes me want to cry, Clodfobble. And yes, Undertoad, that is what I thought at the time.
Some time after we split (because I can't transit from lovers to friends without a break) the culprit and I became friends again and he was very kind and helpful to me at a very traumatic point in my life. You could not imagine a less devious, kinder person, less likely to put his own interests over those of others. Or so I thought. So I am also grieving for the loss of a friend.
And then I find myself in church this afternoon (not my belief system, but an obligation to others took me there). It is the culprit's belief system and I begin to wonder how you square off the two in your head. He was, by all accounts, full of remorse and basically gave himself up at the first indication of the accusations; is now imprisoned for four years (at least two), with corrective treatment and a ban on contacting the victims for life afterwards. And then there is all this talk of forgiveness around me and I think: "Poor bastard. He has lost his family (all of it), friends, job, everything. What he needs is a friend". Part of me wants to be that friend - who has continued to see all the good in him (which there was).
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