[Lady Sidhe]

The manager of Action Video in Greensboro, N.C., looked at the gun held by the robber in front of him. "That is not a real gun," Ron Simpson told the robber. "This is a real gun," he added as he pulled out his own gun, which he has a permit to carry. The surprised robber grabbed a candy rack to use as a shield. "Like that's going to stop the bullet," Simpson told him as he picked up the phone to call police. The robber ran. "Police don't suggest this, I know," Simpson said later, but "I'd do it again." (Greensboro News & Record)



When two men stepped up to the counter at a convenience store in Stuart, Fla., the clerk asked if they were old enough to buy beer. When Winston Lamar, 22, handed over his ID, she noticed he had a gun. But before he could do anything with it, store clerk Marie Blanco, 42, grabbed it and the men ran, taking the beer. A half hour later, Lamar called the store to ask if he could come back for the gun and ID. Blanco said he could, telling him the police had left, but two sheriff's deputies were there to arrest him and Drew Nash, 21, when they returned. (Ft Myers News-Press)


"Fiji Village to Apologize for Eating English Missionary" -- AFP
headline



Real Doctor's Excuses


1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

3. Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

8. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

9. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]

10. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

12. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

13. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.

14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

15. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

16. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

17. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

18. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

19. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

20. Please excuse Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.



Bizarre English Translations:

TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If
you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read
notis.

BUCHAREST HOTEL: The list is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

YUGOSLAVIAN HOTEL: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

JAPANESE HOTEL: You are invited to take advantage of the
chambermaid.

SWISS MENU: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

HONG KONG TAILOR SHOP: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

BANGKOK DRY CLEANERS: Drop your trousers here for best re-
sults.

CZECH TOURIST AGENCY: Take one of our horse-driven city
tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.

SWISS MOUNTAIN INN: Special today - no ice cream.

NORWEGIAN LOUNGE: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

BUDAPEST (HUNGARY) ZOO: Please do not feed the animals. If
you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

JAPANESE HOTEL: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condi-
tion of warm in your room, please control yourself.

MAJORCAN SHOP: English well talking. Here speeching Ameri-
can.