I'm glad you're alive and well... alive.
Yeah providers, aka dealers, are unreliable and recalcitrant. It feels good to tell one to go fly a kite, but then the next one turns out to be second verse, same as the first.
I don't think it was a snake. If the target was truly the cat hiding under the hood, a python wouldn't chew the outside of the car, it would go under and up like the cat did. Got to be a Gator... or alien.