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Old 10-21-2015, 03:40 PM   #8
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Definitely don't go with the intention of staying with him. Even if he's totally legit and your future husband, in-person reveals things--smells, mannerisms, weird teeth, who knows--that just can't be evaluated any other way. If you find yourself uncomfortable, you don't want to be stuck in his house with all the intimate implications involved with that, and nowhere else to go. Getting a hotel and having your first "date" in public are reasonable precautions, and if he's great in person you can always go back to his house just like any other date. (I'm assuming romantic intentions for a reason; if you have none you DEFINITELY should not go, because that is very much what he is hoping for here. Again, perhaps in an honest and completely non-rapey manner, but it's not fair to lead him on.)
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