Here he is, King of the Cacti.
Look at that crown made of baby Cacti... He could be a Lannister!
Bow before your prickly overlord.
OK I lied, it's not a king, it's just a Crested Saguaro Cactus, but pretty damn impressive, and pretty damn rare.
If I were a Saguaro I'd vote for that succulent, elect him king.
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The saguaro cactus is composed of a tall, thick, fluted, columnar stem about two feet in diameter with several large arms that curve upward in the most distinctive conformation of all Southwestern cacti. But sometimes they produce a fan-shaped form of uncontrolled growth at the tip. These odd growths are referred to as cresting (or cristate), and are very rare occurrences. It is estimated that this condition affects approximately one out of every 200,000 saguaros. Originally, less than 200 of these abnormalities were thought to be in existence. However, more than 2,000 have been discovered so far, and biologists believe that there may be many more.
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2000? Well we could have regional primaries, then a general elect... No wait, fights! Yeah, that's the ticket, on pay per view.
Regional battle royals to whittle down the posers, then the winners in February Madness to fill between the superbowl and basketball madness.
Or jousting, on Donkeys with... no, they can't ride. Poop.
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