There are so many funny things in this story I don't even want to take the time to enumerate them. Collect all 4!
http://www.whio.com/news/news/crime-...hburger/nmJ3H/
I dream of the luxurious burger whose life I held in my hands, verily, and I became a crumption of a darkness of aptitude, having been solaced by the endearment of vertitude.
And then I found myself.
Whilst vaptiliating.
Amongst the conjured.
Cleverly contained and sufficiently absorbed into matter. 