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A really old Jewish man wins the largest jackpot in California lottery history. He's on television accepting his giant check when a reporter asks him if he'd like to say anything.
The old man says, "Yes, I would like to thank Hitler!"
The reporter is shocked and asks "Hitler!?!? You want to thank Hitler?!?"
The old man points to his arm and says, "Yep, he's the one who gave me the numbers."
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"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
- George Carlin
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