Oh, I got it. We can either A) give gays the same legal status as straights wrt marriage, or B) redefine society's interpretation of marriage and everyone's relationship with the government.
A can be done quickly and solves the hugely bigoted aspect of the system like cutting the Gordian knot.
B probably cannot be done, and leaves gays in an unequal position while it takes place.
Advocating A means you are putting gays in an unequal position for maybe decades. Maybe forever.
Hence, bigot. If you would like to not be considered a bigot, you should advocate for gay marriage and THEN advocate for what you think marriage should be and who defines it. After all,
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just seems codifying a relationship is more honest (and easier) than directing a culture
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So give the gays marriage (codify their relationship, albeit via that evil, unclean government) and then attempt to direct the culture to change. Address inequality because it's the right thing to do, and let the culture catch up.
That's how it used to work...
xkcd today:
(And by the way, what an "activist" Supreme Court, making interracial marriage Constitutional when only a quarter of the people were in favor of it.)