[Sundae]

I know two women who were date raped.
The first was a very close friend who confided in me and was relieved when I said she'd been raped. She said, "I thought I was over-reacting."
And no, She didn't go to the police because this was in the 80s, she'd smoked dope that night and she just wanted to put it all beind not, not keep reliving it.

The other was a friend who dispassionately told what had happened one drunken night. We were drunk I mean. She didn't report it because she'd gone back to his flat. She wasn't naive, but she thought they were moving slowly towards a relationship, step by step. She trusted him. Because they'd been out together, because people had seen them together, she thought it could never be proved she said No and continued to say No. She lashed out at him and he threatened to smash her teeth in. There was no doubt he could do it.

Neither of these women had any reason to lie to me.
Neither felt they could report a crime, although in both cases the sex occurred under duress.
And neither were yanking the man involved's chain.

I know the plural of experience is not data, but I also doubt that a fat percentage of domestic violence or rape is solely the responsibility of the woman involved.
People ask why a woman doesn't walk away, leave, fight back etc. same can be said of the men. If a woman yanks your chain so hard you have to resort to violence in your own home, then get the fuck out of that relationship. Or otherwise the next time she burns your toast you might just get yourself sent to prison.