[BigV]

Why not have a relationship?

I don't know so, so much about the situation; my thoughts are thus ill-informed. However, Sarge, what do YOU want from such a relationship? If you know, then share that with her. If they match what she wants, then why the hell not? Of course, knowing what one wants in a relationship is one of life's most difficult undertakings. There are lots of areas, lots of pieces and parties, changing feelings; that stuff is difficult to pin down, much less articulate.

But if you can, then by all means, share it. With her I mean, though I'd be interested too, if you want to share here. The "rules" described above are easy to express and evaluate, but that doesn't make them appropriate to apply to you or your situation.

My feelings about relationships have changed considerably since I was a youngster. There's no doubt I'm a better partner now that I've ever been, and much of that improvement is due to a better understanding I have about myself. Self-knowledge is hard, self-honesty is hard. But if you do know, and she knows, and they're compatible, I'd say that's a very good start.