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There is no magical resilience. That's a lie perpetuated by selfish people. Kids have always been damaged by selfish adults.
Integrity matters. Kids do appreciate that. They also appreciate the adults who had time for them. You can't protect your kids from what's inevitably coming, but you can be a stable center for them. Someone has to carry the burden. What lessons the kids take from the whole mess is not up to you.
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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi 
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