[hot_pastrami]

It's shitty that the school administrators turn such a blind eye to these sorts of things that a letter like this one is needed to bring any helpful attention to the matter.

When I was in middle school, I was A) one of the youngest in my grade level, B) height-impaired, C) a bit chunky, and D) intelligent. Consequently, I was picked on. I became unhappy, my grades suffered... yada yada yada. It sucked. Teachers were aware of the problems, but did nothing. Very Lord of the Flies-ish.

For the most part, I flat-out ignored the verbal attacks, and disengaged myself before they became physical confrontations. I just stuck with my friends, and kept my head down. But I could not completely avoid the nasty little shit-eaters, and things slowly escalated.

It all came down to two confrontations at school. One kid in particular antagonized me endlessly, and one day in gym class, when the teacher was away, he started shouting nastiness at me as the class sat on the bleachers, waiting for the class bell to ring. Everyone watched in amusement, and the kid got in my face so closely I could feel his hot breath. But I kept looking him dead in the eye wordlessly. He shouted "I'll bet you want to hit me, don't you? Go ahead... hit me!" I punched that fucker right in the nose with everything I had. His eyes got real big, and he fell down and got entangled in the bleachers, probably more out of surprise than force. The bell rang, and I skeedaddled along with the class.

The next day, as I was walking between classes, two kids jumped me outside and held my arms. Then the kid I'd punched the previous day appeared, obviously relishing this. To the kids holding my arms, I suggested that since they didn't even know me, helping to beat me up probably wasn't worth the shit they would catch for it. This tactic was suprprisingly effective, and the two kids made like trees. The original kid, obviously lacking the balls to face me alone again, ungloriously retreated, and never bothered me again. I was never really seriously bothered again after that.

The point? Sometimes fighting back does solve problems. But then again, sometimes it makes things worse. I was lucky.

Maybe a good approach would be to arrange a specific go-to person at the school for your son... a teacher or administrator who is aware of his situation, who can keep tabs on who is causing him trouble, and who can make special arrangements when needed. This person could call the parents of the worst troublemakers when problems occur. It would be an adult ally. If he goes to a random member of faculty after every incident, each person only gets a fraction of the big picture.

Just a thought. It's something I would have liked to have had back then. Good luck with whatever you decide.