No, you don't get it at all. I don't hate cats, I've had dozens of them, spent dozens if not hundreds of hours watching TV with one in my lap, and know goddamn well what a normal... and a few abnormal... cats act like. I kid Sundae that dogs are better, and do prefer them, but those Frankenstein cats you describe don't exist in anybody's world but yours.
So I
in your general direction.