[Pamela]

Originally Posted by slang

Not allowed or just don't comment out of respect for her privacy?

We have the rule to protect privacy.

Originally Posted by slang

Do you still drive semi-truck? How is that working out for you? If you are still driving, what's the biggest change in your routine?

Yes I do still drive a semi. It's still working out okay, mostly. There really aren't any major changes in my routine. Nor do I expect there to be any.

Originally Posted by slang

I can't remember if you were pro ccw or not. Pro gun IIRC. Do you carry a piece now? Not a bad idea now days will all these <sarcasm> simpleton right wing Limbaugh/Hannity hate crazies running around.</sarcasm>

I am pro Second Amendment and pro-ccw. Always have been. Always will be. It is against company policy for me to carry a weapon of any kind on the truck. It may or may not be legal in various jurisdictions that I may pass through. At home, I may or may not carry. That will have to be my secret.

Originally Posted by slang

Oh, here's another one. Are you more likely to vote Dem now? That sounds funny but I'm curious. I would guess that you're MUCH more likely to lean Dem.

It's OK. You can ask. You have guessed wrongly however. I do NOT intend to vote Democrat at this time. There are far greater issues at stake in the elections than my own narrow self-interest. I am, however, more likely to support LGBT legislation.

Originally Posted by slang

How do you think of your previous life? There must be memories that you still think back on fondly. Or not? All of your experiences could not have been uncomfortable through the years (hopefully not ).

I think of my male life as a kind of purgatory. Sure, I have some fond memories. Fewer than most, but some. Some of my happiest memories involve childhood prior to "that age" when gender becomes more important. All young children are pretty much the same until, say, five. Until then, boys are taken into the ladies' room by their mothers and no one bats an eye. After that, they have to venture into the men's room, either with a male family member or alone. Gender segregation begins to indoctrinate at that time and my memories get darker and less happy.

Originally Posted by slang

Do you ever get mad and call people fucking assholes? Out loud? When they deserve it.

I have never quite learned to shut the hell up. Gets me into trouble from time to time. I don't shout though. I tend to mutter under my breath. I do go home and throw temper tantrums sometimes. Helps to let it out when no one can hear me.

Originally Posted by slang

Do you think about getting married? Do you think about having kids or adopting them? How might you be a better parent than a traditional mother? What might your weakness be in your opinion in raising kids?

I think about it all the time. My one true regret is not being able to bear children. Adoption is, sadly, unlikely in this political climate. It might be possible for me to marry a single parent and adopt THEIR children, but it's not really likely. The last spouse has pretty much soured me on ever allowing anyone to get that close to me again. I do not trust easily.

Originally Posted by slang

Is it easier for you to cry now? Are there specific things that make you cry now that did not previously? During the past year, there have been many times that I'd like to cry just to release but have been unable to. The more intensely sad or difficult that life gets the more detached I become.

Yes I cry much more easily now. It seems to come naturally. I cry at all kinds of things that never used to affect me at all. Like the big romance scene in Ghost. Makes me cry EVERY time. You can cry. You have simply been trained not to show emotions. As I was.
Let it out! A good cry makes me feel a lot better.

Originally Posted by slang

I'll try to think of more questions because you're right, this is a great opportunity to ask almost any question and get your honest answer here. Many of the questions are sensitive here so thanks in advance for the answers you choose to give.

My pleasure. Those were great questions!

Allow me to explain one other thing which you did not ask.

I have the emotions of a fifteen year-old girl. Everything seems like a huge, dramatic deal. It comes of the higher than normal doses of hormones that I take. I therefore tend to throw hissy fits for nothing and temper tantrums at the drop of a hat. However, I do get to keep my wisdom and sense of propriety, so I usually simmer down to normal again within a few minutes.

I was trained, as I said earlier, not to show emotions. "Boys don't cry" and all that rubbish. So I am somewhat unprepared for all the new and unfamiliar emotions that are now having their way with my psyche. Natal females get to learn to deal with this by following their mother's example and learning on their own throughout adolescence. I didn't get that background. So I am trying to make up for lost time by forcing myself to learn faster than normal. There is some detriment to that, my therapist says. However, real life tends to force such actions anyway. I just don't have the time to go through puberty again!
Especially since once I am post-op, I will get to smash straight into menopause with no intervening years to "season".

We do not call it The Roller Coaster Ride for no reason!

Keep em coming! That was exactly what I had in mind!

Love

Pam