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Oh, I agree. A Woman is something much more than that simple biological difference. And a Man, likewise is more than that simple biological difference.
Gender roles have a purpose in our society. And, at a personal level they are one of the ways we understand and navigate our selves, our worlds and each other. Amongst the various things that gender may or may not be, it is performed and also negotiated. Whatever the particular mix of genetics, biological sex, performed understanding and social conditioning led to our current gender roles, that is what we have to work with.
If I go out with a man, I conform to certain understandings of gender. In social situations, with men and women, I conform to certain undertandings of gender. It's about signalling masculinity or femininity. Signalling and performing gender, in all sorts of ways. Because in our world and society being male or female has meaning beyond simple biology.
There's nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with wanting to display gender. Or in wanting to hook up with someone who displays gender in a way that appeals to your own conception of the other sex.
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